Into the Longbox

*Editors note: I wrote this over a year ago and didn't get around to posting it. I'm not editing any of my past tense because what fun would that be. Imagine I posted this in 2024. ** A year or two ago, I tried to convince my wife (and myself), that Batman Returns was a Christmas movie. I insisted we watch it, holding this movie in high regard from my childhood. We never finished it then, but a few weeks ago, we did. Let me tell you, your childhood can lie to you. Nostalgia is a potent drug. It makes you forget things. Halfway through the movie, all I could think is, "This movie is so damn stupid." Or "I think I hate this movie." I forgot that maybe a decade ago, I did this same exercise, fooling myself into thinking this was a worthy successor to Batman. It isn't. It's not close. I'm going to get into my reasoning for this. If I were to describe this movie with one word, it'd be bizzare. After the success of the first movie, it's like Wa...

I finally got around to watching the most recent Superman and I definitely have thoughts. I'm still processing them, but this I do know. I wanted to love this movie more than I did. At the end, I was like, "This was good, but not great." It's not beating Fantastic Four as my comic book movie of the year.  Before I get to my thoughts, I want to lead with this and be up front. I'm not a huge fan of James Gunn. I've liked some of his movies/shows (Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 1, Peacemaker) and disliked others (Guardians 2 and 3, THE Suicide Squad). I haven't watched Creature Commanders and I'm leaving out previous movies like Slither and the many others I'm sure someone will call out. I don't like his music choices. I don't always love his comedy beats. I don't always love how he films action scenes. This movie had a lot of what I like from him and what I don't like.  One thing I will say and it might sound like tepid praise based on ...

What in the blue hell? Sony has just been scraping the bottom of the barrel to meet the requirements to keep the Spider-Man properties. No one in their right mind would want a Kraven movie, but here we are. Down is up, up is down.  I've said this before, I'm kind of a movie mascochist. No one makes me do this. I do this to myself. After enduring Madame Web, I had to move on down the list to this movie. It is everything I thought it was. A stupid movie, but there's something more at work here. Lemme get into it. I feel for the lead star, Aaron Taylor-Johnson. He clearly bulked up for the role and really thought it was going to be something special. This movie is not going to help his case. He's fine, but this is a dumb movie and you're the face of it, bro. Remember how I said you can tell Aaron bulked up? Yeah, he walks around like a guy that just did arm day at the gym. The way he poses and all his action scenes are there to show off his work. Good job, my guy. Do y...

I'm a deeply sick, disturbed man. Multiple people told me DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE. Saying those words are like catnip to me. I was gonna watch it. All I needed was time and opportunity. Over the labor day weekend, I was doing chores. Okay, I was putting comic boards into comic bags for my haul for the last couple of weeks. I figured, I'm doing something mindless, let me watch a mindless movie. That's when I found the time for this movie. Is this movie as bad as they said? Yes. Absolutely. It was a waste of my time, but I wasn't raging at the stupidness of this movie like I thought I would. I was laughing because I couldn't believe this was a serious movie made with real money. This movie is par for the course on the terribleness of all the Sony Spider-Man properties. I'm excluding the last two Venom movies because I haven't watched them yet, but I have no doubt they are equally terrible. Let's get into my thoughts: I've never seen anyone with less ch...

Here's the show you probably haven't heard about because now Disney wants to act like they don't want to talk about any of the non-white shows that they have. If that above sentence triggered you in some way, you haven't paying attention how some big companies bury mention of their content to stay off the radar of the current administration. Never mind that the use of the word "woke" is been completely co-opted in the wrong way.  They also moved up the original release date without any warning. Ryan Coogler is big time now and if you want to make money, you announce his projects. After the next Black Panther movie, if I was him, I'd be done with the Marvel business. You were mutually beneficial to each other for a hot minute, but that time has passed. My bad, I got on my soap box, but this is my blog and I do what I want! Anyways! Eyes of Wakanda. It's a wonderfully short 4 episode series. It doesn't overstay it's welcome and there is rich, fer...

My dream as a long time FF fan has come true. They did not only a good movie, but a GREAT Fantastic Four movie. Dare I say...Fantastic?! I know the bar was extremely low, but this movie did all the things the other movies failed to do. Combined. At this point, I don't think I have to provide proof, but I will anyways. For those of you that have seen my comic book collection, you will know that it is pretty massive. Let's just say the most of one title I have is Fantastic Four comics. They are one of the very few comics I've bought every issue consistently for the past 20 years without breaks. I've endured a lot of ups and downs with the series, so I feel like I have a pretty good feel on them. I want you to trust me as an expert. Or at least someone who is speaking as a big fan and then you can still dismiss me. This movie combines the best elements of the characters for this movie. Let me get my review. I am going to gush a lot about this movie, so let me put this into...

In an effort to at least be relevant, I watched this show as quickly as my time would allow, so I could finish before it was spoiled for me. Unfortunately, it WAS, so I won't do that to you. But you come here, my tens of fans, to see what I think. I'll get right to it. I loved this show. The episodes stuck with me long after they were over and that is a rarity with these shows. This was such a black show and that is probably why. There's unsaid things that we as a people just get when watching something like this. The fact that they got Disney money to do it makes it even sweeter. Per my new format, let me give you my bullet point notes: The Ironheart effects looked REALLY good. Most of these Marvel shows try to go above what their SFX budget allows ( **cough** She-Hulk **cough** ), but that was not the case here. I was legitimately surprised. Riri was complicated and they delve as much as they can within six episodes. I don't feel like she made any moves that were inco...