*Editors note: I wrote this over a year ago and didn't get around to posting it. I'm not editing any of my past tense because what fun would that be. Imagine I posted this in 2024. ** A year or two ago, I tried to convince my wife (and myself), that Batman Returns was a Christmas movie. I insisted we watch it, holding this movie in high regard from my childhood. We never finished it then, but a few weeks ago, we did. Let me tell you, your childhood can lie to you. Nostalgia is a potent drug. It makes you forget things. Halfway through the movie, all I could think is, "This movie is so damn stupid." Or "I think I hate this movie." I forgot that maybe a decade ago, I did this same exercise, fooling myself into thinking this was a worthy successor to Batman. It isn't. It's not close. I'm going to get into my reasoning for this. If I were to describe this movie with one word, it'd be bizzare. After the success of the first movie, it's like Wa...