Transformers: Rise of the Beasts

A few weeks ago, because we have Paramount Plus now, I finally got around to watching this movie that came and went over the summer. If you missed it, let me save you the trouble with this review. Don't bother unless you're a sucker for punishment like I am. It's amazing the sunk cost I have with these live action Transformer movies and I keep going back. I KNOW I have a problem. That's on me. Let's hope you're not with me, because misery loves company.

First of all, God love Peter Cullen. Here he is like 40 years later, still giving voice to Optimus Prime. I hate that they trotted him back out for this movie. Like Kevin Conroy, he is always the definitive voice of this character. However, it's time we all faced reality and accept that they need to get new blood. These movies hurt my soul because these movies always make Optimus look like a completely incompetent leader and I hate hearing the voice of my childhood attached to that.

Who knows what the timeline is for all these damn Transformer movies. This one is set in the 90's so it is a lazy excuse to shoehorn in any 90's song you can think of. I hate seeing Wu-Tang getting abused like this.

This movie CLEARLY wasn't working with the budget of it's predecessors. The Transformers looked real bad to me. Like, obvious CG and didn't blend great with the scenery bad. I still don't like the design aesthetic they use for all the transformers in robot form. They are looking like some sinewy ass robots. The robot generator chose "Lithe" as the body type and then you move the slider up and down for height. We also get a smaller, lazy ass lineup of Transformers for either side. For the Autobots we have Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Mirage and Arcee and [name forgotten and I don't care to do the research]. Okay, real quick. That last one was a giant plane. But not just any plane, an old man plane. They did this joke in past movies. Maybe it was the same guy, don't know, don't care. Point is, it makes no sense to have senile transformers like this. It's like a bunch of dude-bros wrote this with a crack focus group.

For the....not Decepticons, we have... I don't remember and I didn't want to look it up. Menacing names like Crusher or Blazer or something I'm sure. It doesn't really matter. Going back to the Autobots, I'm so tired of every other movie, Bumblebee is like a damsel in distress or taken off the board because the heels have to get over on someone, so it's always Bumblebee taking the fall. (The following was a wrestling joke for the uninitiated. Here's your mansplainy explanation for the article.) He's the most beloved, but the one they consistently sacrifice.

I know the film tries to make you feel for the characters, but you really don't. Optimus is pretty damn unlikeable, Mirage is annoying as hell and Arcee doesn't get enough to do other than being the "female" Autobot. Then we get the Maximals. The only real reason you care is because the wonderful Michelle Yeoh is here. That's it. I'll admit, I NEVER cared for Beast Wars. I just couldn't.

I've been on a rant here and haven't said anything concrete about the movie. It's bad y'all. It's annoying. It's bland. They bring in Unicron, but who cares at this point? The earth gets destroyed every movie, so why is this any different. And it takes the power of friendship between a weak ass collection of Autobots and humans (they always have to play a factor in these movies, which is beyond annoying). The only thing this movie does right is be merciful, clocking in at a shade over two hours. 

Michael Bay not directing fixes some of the problems, but what he created was expanded upon here and that's never a good thing. So I guess we can say the first movie and Bumblebee are the only good movies out of the SEVEN that they have done. I love Transformers, but I hate these movies so much. I only have myself to blame for continuing to watch them. I may not be spending money to see them in theaters, but I spent time and that is a more valuable commodity to me.

Loki: Season 2

Although I finished this weeks ago, I'm just now getting around to writing about it. What you can take about that is my "meh" feeling with Marvel shows that leaves me ready to move past them, rather than talk about them. But then I'm not doing my duty for YOU dear reader, so let me give you my thoughts.

Like the first season of Loki, I thought this was okay. I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it. What I respect about it, unlike the other shows, is it has this water cooler effect to it that I can't explain. To be more specific, it feels like appointment viewing and then you want to talk about it with your friends or co-workers and then guess about what happens next. Out of ALLLLLLLLLLLL the shows that Marvel has done, this show and Wandavision are the only ones I felt this with. It probably has something to do with the fact that these shows usually have the potential to change the overarching narrative of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU).

So does this show do that? Well, yes and no. The series has done a great job of creating a redemption arc for this version of Loki and we've watched him struggle with trying to be better from the first episode of the series. In this season, he makes the ultimate sacrifice and although I won't say what that was, this MIGHT have implications for the larger MCU. I say might because I have zero faith in Marvel and what they are doing right now. They have been stumbling into good content. Phase 5 has been a nightmare, with no real direction.

So let me start with what I didn't like. This show is six episodes, but there are long stretches that it feels middling. This show wants to go go go because there is a big crisis coming, but it takes it's time getting there and makes us sit in their character moments for too long. I like character development as much as the next guy, but this show didn't add a whole lot of new stuff to them. I know we had questions about what Mobius and the rest of the TVA were up to before they "joined" the TVA, but I don't think we needed to see it. When Mobius kept talking about water skis, I didn't WANT to see why. It's an interesting quirk, but I don't need it explained like we got. It is okay to leave stuff to our imagination.

Also, some of the situations just felt contrived. The major issue of the season is solving how to fix the time stream going through a time loom. Something that took up about three episodes. I think the problem with a show like this, with the stakes being as high as they are, you know it's going to get fixed, so the sense of drama isn't really there like they think. The only thing you're wondering is what lengths Loki is going to go to in order to fix it. After all this, it's not like he's NOT going to fix it. The search for Sylvie, really didn't affect too much in the end. At least that's what I remember. Gimme a break, it's been a few weeks. For me, that might as well be years. I watch a lot of shit. What also irks me is that at times, Loki acts as a regular dude, then remembers he has powers. The show found a way to nerf him in weird ways. 

One of the things I've liked about this show, although it makes no sense, is this weird, 50's aesthetic everything has. You don't normally see that with any sci-fi show when time travel is involved, but they have their own unique style and they stick to it, never wavering. I can respect that.

The strongest part of the show that I liked, were the actors. This is a great cast and they all play well off each other. Tom Hiddleston has been putting on a clinic in this series and with his time playing Loki coming to an end, it's been a fun journey and he has easily been Marvel's best villain (turned hero). Jonathan Majors is back in dual roles, playing Victor Timely and then Kang. The stark difference between their portrayal really shows his range and I hope he gets to stick around. Yes, I know he's in legal trouble, so we'll wait for that to play out. I will also keep my thoughts to myself.

I've never liked Owen Wilson more than I do here. He is as understated as can be and that's a good thing. And no, please don't point me to other stuff he's done, I don't care THAT much. Let me just have this show. 

The other thing I liked, even though I complained about how contrived some of the situations are, I'm a sucker for time travel story and that is here as well. It's really used to good effect in the last episode. Even though it's been weeks, I'm not going to reveal any of the twists. I'm not a monster.

Like the first season, I kept waiting for something big that effects the entire MCU. Although something big does happen, it's not what I was expecting. Let me say this though, folks. The multi-verse is here to say, whether we want it or not. 

Would I recommend this? Eh, it's definitely not the worst thing in the Marvel. This has been one of the more bright spots in the million TV shows that Marvel has put out because this one actually means something in the larger universe right now, doesn't go outside of it's budget and has wonderful acting. 

The Marvels

I just saw "The Marvels" on Monday night and I wanted to write about it as soon as I could. To not bury the lede, I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. It is easily the best Marvel movie this year. I have more in-depth thoughts about the state of the MCU that I'll share at the end, because they are emblematic of something far worse and it's nothing to do with this movie itself.

There is an undeniable fun chemistry amongst the three leads of this movie. If you hate strong female leads, you better go elsewhere. The lynch pin is definitely Iman Vellani's Kamala Khan. She was so damn likeable in the Ms. Marvel TV show and she's equally, if not MORE likeable here. Instead of being a useless third wheel, she holds her own in all the action scenes. Her family also makes the transition to the big screen and they bring some lightheartedness and grounding to the movie.

Brie Larson actually gets to show a personality in this movie, something that had been missing in all her appearances as Captain Marvel to date, which is refreshing because she has it in her and Marvel was not bottling that correctly. Finally, Teyonah Parris rounding out as Monica Rambeau adds an additional dynamic that also helps to ground Carol Danvers more. Everyone gets something to do here. Like 75% of these Marvel movies, this movie suffers from a one-dimensional villain, but I forgive that because these ladies just needed someone to punch anyway. It's about the friendship between these the trio and how they play off each other.

The most enjoyable part for me, is that there was a lot of creative and careful thought put into the fight choreography that plays on the central conceit of the movie. The three characters switch places whenever they use their powers at the same time, something that is explained in a hand-wavy way that you shouldn't think about too much.  It makes for a lot of fun moments throughout the film.

The jokes hit the right notes and I was not groaning or wanting things to move on like I did in Guardians of the Galaxy or Ant-Man earlier this year. Yeah, both those movies came out this year. I forgot too. This movie was also a short 105 minutes, a luxury we do not usually get with Marvel movies. Things didn't keep escalating to like five different endings, so that was also surprisingly refreshing. Side note, if you liked Goose in Captain Marvel, you will get more of them here too. Cats!

The special effects, beside the one-dimensional villain, were the only weak spots in this movie and I can forgive those, because everything else is so much fun.

The only things you need to watch to prep for this movie are: Captain Marvel, Wandavision and Ms. Marvel. Each one gives you insight into the trio of ladies in the film. This movie basically picks up where the Ms. Marvel series ended.

So with all that being said, there is a much larger problem here. This is the part of my review where I will pivot away from this film and talk about what really pisses me off with Marvel's direction with this phase of movies/shows. Sorry everyone, Secret Invasion is about to catch some strays.

So WHEN exactly in Marvel's now convoluted timeline does this movie take place? All we know is that it is after Endgame, because Monica talks about things that occurred to her after the blip and after Ms. Marvel's show. We just had Secret Invasion a few months ago that dealt with Skrulls and Nick Fury. This movie ALSO deals with Skrulls and have Nick Fury. Both things seem to be independent of each other. Did Secret Invasion come before this movie? Afterwards? We see happy Nick Fury in this movie in his space station, giving the kind of energy we usually expect from Sam Jackson. He clearly had more fun making this than the other show and it is evident. 

What happened to the Skrulls in this movie and in Secret Invasion are big deals, but they both just kind of happen in their own bubbles. They wasted Telos in that show instead of having him appear in this movie, so now our most recognizable Skrull is just gone and there is zero mention of him. This movie and that show felt like they were in two different universes, they were so different. Maybe Marvel can explain it away with all this multi-verse nonsense they've been going on about lately.

Marvel clearly has been making shit up as they go after Endgame and it couldn't be more evident. Everything they got right with this movie, they got wrong with everything else this year. It was concise. It was fun. It let it's stars bounce off each other. It didn't bathe in it's own sadness. I hate that this movie comes at the end of the year, when super hero fatigue has set in. There are a few things at the end of the Marvels that makes us feel that good stuff is on the way. A thing the other movies this year didn't do either. There was little connective tissue to tie stuff together.

Finally, I feel the need to get on my soap box. The movie hasn't done great at the box office and some have celebrated that. This movie suffered from not being marketed well. Like, at all. Who knew it was even happening? The strike meant that the actors could not talk about it, but that shouldn't have stopped Marvel from doing a full court press with their marketing. 

I guess a female driven movie by a black director is not worth the extra press it could have used. I'm sure the straight, white male, comic nerd contingent is happy about the news that this movie had the lowest opening for a Marvel movie. This film was left out to die on the vine and it deserved better than that. I hate that we're seeing all these lazy think pieces about why this movie has bombed and whether or not we are suffering from hero fatigue. We've been in that for years prior to this movie. Let's not get it twisted.

So I say go see this movie. It is is an accomplishment and something to be praised. It is the most fun you will have with a Marvel property this year. For you true nerds, there's a mid credits scene that is there to make people like me salivate.

My Adventures with Superman

My poor, beleaguered blog. I swear one day I'll consistently post to you. And post on timely topics. Today is not that day for ONE of these items. 

It is no secret that DC has been destroying Marvel when it comes to animated features. I mean, does Marvel even make them anymore? Other than this year's Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur (which I will talk about soon) I can't even think of anything. While there is adult fare, like Harley Quinn, we skew in the other direction with this new show on HBO Max. Well, it's not new anymore by the time I got around to reviewing this, but whatever. You get my drift.

We've been subjected to many different versions of Lois and Clark over the years. This show has to be the most wholesome thing I have ever seen. It has an anime look and some of the anime sensibilities, but when you get past all that, you have a wholesome versions of the early days of Superman that you will ever get.

Some may be upset at how they play fast and loose with the character designs by making Jimmy Olsen and Perry White black. If that stuff still bothers you, I don't know what to tell you. It's a small thing, but I like the design of giving Lois more of a pixie cut than the long hair we're used to. Also, Superman isn't some barrel chested brute who acts nice. Here, he is legitimately trying to find his place in the world and how to use his powers.

This show makes it fun to watch him try and figure it all out, while trying to lead dual lives. We also get to see him act like a news reporter, which you would be surprised how little you see that these days. The voice acting is very good and I love the redesign of lower tier Superman villains like Livewire and Parasite. If you want to argue that Parasite is top tier....come on. Superman has one of the weaker rogues galleries, so they picked the best of them without reverting to using Lex Luthor right away.

I thought this season was paced very well and I like the conceit we're getting with American animated series like this were you get ten episodes in a season and that is it. Story threads like, will Lois find out Superman's secret identity are resolved quickly. Real quick, on that note. It was both a fun and heartwarming reveal when Lois discovers who Superman is.

The trio of Lois, Clark and Jimmy are a lot of fun and I can't wait to see them on more adventures. Each of them brought a little something to the table, so Jimmy and Lois don't seem completely useless. It helps that all the voice acting is completely endearing. If you're a Superman fan or just want a light hearted, not anime to watch, I highly recommend this. 

Blue Beetle

I could come up with a million excuses why I'm late on my review for this movie. You've heard them already, so it doesn't MATTER. Let's get into it.

Blue Beetle. Let's be honest, this is not the movie any of us asked for. But it is the movie we deserve. What do I mean by that? We deserve a fun, super hero movie that isn't about saving the world, but a personal story with our main character. You can be reductive and say it's like Iron Man's origin movie or Ant-Man's, but that is going to make you miss out. Also, other than the fact that all the heroes where a suit of armor, that's the only similarity. Don't get forget that Tony Stark and Scott Lang were assholes before they put on a hero suit. Jamie Reyes is none of that and is instantly more likeable. 

Okay, let me also say this. The trailers for this movie do it a huge disservice. They make it seem like Jamie (Xolo Maridueña) is this poor down on his luck kid. In actuality, he just graduated from college (in pre-law?) and just can't find a job. We've been there. He's also trying to do right by his family because they are not doing well. Miles above what those others were. So again, I hate the misleading trailer. 

I found him absolutely charming and I shockingly liked George Lopez in this movie as the wacky uncle. The thread the needle on conspiracy theory believing and bumbling with a true heart and sounding board for Jamie. I didn't expect this and it was welcomed. In fact, I enjoyed his entire family and how they pull together. Also, my hot take. This movie was more about family that Fast X was. Just cause you say the word family about 100 times, doesn't make fetch happen.

One other note. This is the best we could have hoped Blue Beetle as a character would appear on screen. Ted Kord would NOT work. I like that he is referenced here and some of his gadgets, costumes and vehicles show up. This way the toxic fan boys might complain less about seeing their white super hero replaced by a Latino. Who am I kidding? They'll still complain. Ted Kord is trash, y'all. There, I said it.

If you saw the Flash movie, I'm sorry. I did too. I bring that up because the special effects here are GOOD, unlike that other movie. The only issue I have is the super hero movie trope of the good guy fighting a bad guy version of himself (i.e. two dudes in armor like in Iron Man, Black Panther, Ant-Man). It's the only complaint I have about this movie.

Oh, real quick. Susan Sarandon is straight up the villain in this movie, y'all. I feel like she had a lot of fun with it. She got to ham it up and it is something to behold. She's also so good at it you want her to get what's coming to her.

Finally, the musical score is really good. The marketing and the logo has this 80's vibe and all I could think is, "Here we go again with this 80's nostalgia bullshit". It works here, so my cynicism is not always on point. 

I absolutely recommend this movie. Of course, right before the power shifts at DC, they start making some enjoyable movies. I have no idea what to expect from James Gunn and the upcoming Aquaman, but at least for a shining moment, DC has made a few movies I've liked these past few years.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem

Look, I am always behind in how long it takes me to post about what I watch. It's now become a feature, not a bug. So let's just get right into it without you accusing me of ANYTHING.

Over the years, I have come to realize that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are probably my favorite property. It is easily top four with Transformers, Dragon Ball Z and Power Rangers. I can't explain it, nor WILL I. It's my prerogative. I have figures all over the damn place in my room and my favorites, by a mile, are my 1/4 sized set of the Ninja Turtles from the first live action movie. The property has been rebranded, rebooted so many times, it's hard to keep count. And I've watched nearly all of them. I enjoy each iteration.

When I heard this movie was going to skew the turtles on the younger side of their teenage years, I half rolled my eyes. I go hot and cold on Seth Rogen. I feel like I've aged out of most of his humor and I can find him very annoying. All that being said, I love this property, a movie was going to be in the theaters, so of course I was going to see it and give it a shot.

So what did I think? I loved it. It took me a while to get used to the animation style, it's like, Diet Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse. We can see that this street graffiti look is here to stay and hang out for a bit, so we might as well welcome it into our lives. Once I got over the initial ugliness of some of the humans (Baxter Stockman for example), this movie really settles in. Also, before we go any further, the look of Splinter is oft-putting to me. 

I was not expecting an actiony movie like Turtles movies of the past. The action we did get was appropriate for teens just starting to get into real fights. I liked that they struggled against normal guys because they had not been in real combat before. It's a perfect example of what happens when you learn from watching videos, but then have to apply that in real life.

I also liked the arc of the characters and how they grow. It was fun watching Leonardo finally gaining the respect of his brothers as a leader. I also loved the choice of having him, not Donatello in recent iterations, fawning over April. Watching the other brothers finding their places on the team with their dynamic was also fun. There was also so much chemistry between them and it was good to not see them constantly bickering.

I was initially worried when they announced the cast of this movie and just how many characters were in it. I felt that for the first movie, they would take away too much screen from the turtles and just oversaturate the whole thing. Fortunately, they are not the focus and show up in chunks throughout the film. Honestly, they get a lot of big names for bit parts. Kind of a waste if you ask me. 

The voice acting was strong in this and I never knew that Ice Cube as himself, playing Baxter Stockman is what I was missing in my life. This was 90s era Ice Cube, which I think a lot of you would appreciate. I mean, he straight up talks about molly whopping people. Ice Cube was being Ice Cube and I'm here for it. Jackie Chan was a surprise choice, but he's had enough experience in the game that he can emote with his voice very well and he comes off as the caring father that he portrayed.

Just the theme of family and wanting to fit in definitely resonated with me, so I felt something watching this movie that I didn't think I would. I've grown softer in my later years.

Would I recommend this movie? Absolutely. Do I want to watch it again, absolutely. I feel like I might have missed some bits because I was distracted THE WHOLE MOVIE because Alamo was having an off day and I didn't get my food until 15 minutes before the movie ended. Why does this matter you say? Because I ordered ten minutes BEFORE the movie started. So I had to wait the whole damn movie to get fed and I came to the movie hungry. So I was in a MOOD and distracted, not able to fully enjoy this like I wanted to. Anyways, go see it... on demand somewhere because the shelf life of movies in theaters is obscene these days.

Shazam: Fury of the Gods

In all my anger directed Secret Invasion, I forgot to mention that I finally got around to watching this movie on HBO Max. This was my first reaction after finishing this movie. I'm going to hate that the fun type of movies like this coming from DC will probably go away under James Gunn. I think this is a character and franchise that should continue on in the new DC Cinematic Universe. 

Truth be told, I actually enjoyed this movie. I feel bad for the actor that played Billy Batson, because this movie was almost exclusively featuring Shazam. Don't get me wrong, Zachary Levi is fantastic and I'm glad he got to shine in this movie. We also get a heavy weight like Helen Mirren being in this movie. She instantly elevates anything she is in. They used her sparingly, so that when she shows up, there is an impact.

If there is one small gripe I had with this movie, is that it leaned into the trope of incompetent super heroes doing their best. Then getting super competent in the end. I don't like that hero's arc because you KNOW they will win in the end. So while played for comedic effect, I didn't like some of those pieces in this movie.

Going back to what I liked, m
aybe the family aspect really hit home for me with me having a young family now. I liked how everyone interacted with each other. I thought the special effects were also pretty good. I also love that it seems that Wonder Woman has been making the rounds in her cameos. I hate that we're not going to see Gal Gadot doing that anymore. James Gunn, you could have brought her over for your new universe. I don't want to see a cutesy cameo in a few years when you do more multi-verse nonsense

I know this is one of my shorter reviews and I will TRY to do more like this in the future. All in all, I would recommend watching this. It's fun.

Secret Invasion

He looks as bored as I was watching this show

I finished this about a week ago and I Just haven't gotten around to doing it, so here we are. I thought those days in between would help me cool off, but as I started writing, all that vitriol came back and then some. You know all that hate I typically save for DC movies. Buckle up, because that energy is being redirected to this show. Normally I am even keeled when it comes to my beloved Marvel. This was a show that I tried to force myself to like and I just. COULD. NOT. DO.IT. Beware, I'm going to have to do some spoilers here, there's no avoiding it this time.

I like spy dramas, but I've never been so bored by a spy story in all my life. Whatever magic spell Marvel used to have on me did not work this time. This show is beyond underwhelming, I was invested in literally no one and we get to see a lot of great actors get wasted. 

Now that I've let that out, let me get into more specifics about what I didn't like in this show. First of all, this is a show we should have gotten like five years ago, at the height of Marvel's powers and when we were clamoring for more Nick Fury. Now, they trotted this show out to fill a hole in the schedule. Marvel, we're okay if we get 0-1 shows a year at this point. We've gone past the point of oversaturation.

This show made me question if I was too hard on past shows like Loki or Moon Knight. Both of which I nitpicked, but I would gladly take either of those a second time over having watched this.

When Skrulls showed up in Captain Marvel, I was excited. You all know your boy is a fan of the Fantastic Four, so this felt like a precursor to them showing up. They were excellently used in that movie. Then we never really see them again until this show. A show that while expensive, seemed to follow TV show budget rules. This is a show about shape shifting Skrulls infiltrating the world's governments and there was probably 20 minutes of actual Skrull footage out of about 3 and a half hours of show. 

The whole, "we have to stay in human form so you can get used to it" conceit was such bullshit. To me that screams, "Look, the Skrull make up is super expensive, so let's just save it for brief moments and we'll get the most out of it."

Our guy Talos, from Captain Marvel movie spent the majority of his time as a Skrull in that film. So much so, I didn't know what the actual actor looked like. Here, he's just straight up playing himself. The only time we see him in his true form is when he is killed. Pretty unceremoniously. Speaking of unceremonious deaths, they straight up fridged Maria Hill. I was happy to see her back, but it doesn't matter because she doesn't make it out of the first episode. A death that was meaningless. Someone better than me can go into depth of how they did her dirty.

I'm leading up to Nick Fury, but before I get there, let's talk about the main bad guy, Gravik. I swear every third Marvel property has a bad guy who's sole motivation is, "You lied to me or treated me badly, now the whole world must pay." It was straight up mustache twirling villainy in this show. A more sophisticated story about Skrull spies turning the world against itself is instead reduced to standard comic book fare. Furthermore, we finally get a version of the Super Skrull and it is completely wasted. 

Almost to Nick Fury. I want to touch on Emila Clarke being pretty wasted in this show as well. She's Talos's daughter and they are estranged when we start. There was a lot of family drama to unpack here, but we don't spend a lot of time because I guess it doesn't serve the story. It's also some flimsy ass motivations as well. Her story doesn't come to a satisfying conclusion.

Alright, Nick Fury. The main character of the show. They spend so much time showing Nick being a step behind on everything. They talk about how great he used to be and we know it cause we've seen it. You spend five of the six episodes waiting for him to get back to peak Fury and get his iconic look. When you finally get it, you're not excited. You're more like, "It's about damn time!" only for the show to end. I don't know what it was, but Samuel L. Jackson's portrayal felt off this time. He was a lot more jokey than he ever was. It didn't feel right. Also, we have to admit that he's literally in old man, so you can't hide his old man walk anymore.

This whole show spends it's time showing how sneaky the Skrulls are, but it's never established how any of our heroes could even spot one if they tried. As if Fury didn't have some Skrull locator cooked up at some point. So there is fake tension on who's a Skrull versus who isn't. Furthermore, with a literal Super Skrull roaming around, you're telling me not ONE of those planet's heroes could show up to help out. This whole "Fury wants to do it alone" is also nonsense. You can't afford the movie actors showing up in this show is what it is. Sorry Marvel, you can't build how this is a connected universe and then conveniently exclude people when there's a world threatening event. Pick a lane. Make this story about the Skrulls JUST going after Fury then.

This show had the most whole unsatisfying ending of a show I can ever remember. Keep in mind people were upset about She-Hulk's meta ending. We get essentially a big battle between two super skrulls and I was so thoroughly unimpressed and downright bored. When it was over, I was like, "Wait, THAT was the big ending fight?" Nick Fury wins the day through a proxy, who he barely collaborated with. Good riddance.

The final thing that infuriated me about this show. In episode two, we get one of the single best conversations in MCU history (in my opinion) between James Rhodes and Nick Fury. I say one of the best because it's two black men in the mist of all this super hero stuff being real with each other in the way two black people would be. All of that is completely undercut, when you find out Rhodey has been a Skrull this whole show and potentially even as far back as the Captain America: Civil War. They leave his when that switch would have happened open to interpretation. They only say it's been for a long time.

This plot point is what I hated about the comics version of Secret Invasion. You find out that characters you invested in for years are not really who you liked after all. In the comics, they at least kept that contained to C List characters. Rhodes is an A-Tier character by default right now. This shit feels like Spider-Man's clone war back in the mid 90's that caused me to stop by Spiderman Comics for at least a decade, out of spite. 

Marvel needs to right their ship and pronto. They built up all this good will in us with their execution up to Avengers: End Game. Since then, they've been coasting on that and now that's run out. I WANTED to be excited about "The Marvels" or "Loki" season 2, but at this point, I watch Marvel stuff out of my own internal obligation versus being excited. Trust me, you can pass on this one and it pains me to say it. Find better uses for your time. Go take up art. Go watch literally any move in the world. Your time would be better spent.

The Flash

Batman should be in the front!

I know I'm late on getting to see comic book movies, but I make it when I can. It seems that they don't last in theaters long like they used to.

Anyways, I just saw "The Flash" last week and as usual, I have thoughts. When my friend, Jay, turned to me and asked me what I thought about it, my words were: "Well, I didn't hate it."

I think that is my general feeling of this movie. I'm sorry if I come off like I hate DC movies. They're just not good. And you may say, "But Kevin, you're such a Marvel zombie. You like anything they put out." You would be half right. I am a Marvel zombie. But as far as phase 4 and beyond has gone for Marvel, there were a lot of hits (Wakanda Forever, Shang-Chi, Spider-Man: No Way Home, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3) and misses (ETERNALS, Doctor Strange and Multitude of Madness, Ant-Man: Quantumania) for me. Black Widow and Thor: Love and Thunder are in the middle. So the luster is coming off that diamond too.

I digress. I don't like Ezra Miller. I didn't like them in Justice League and having to get so much of them here, was a mixed bag. At times, they were good and at times they were overly annoying. At least Barry Allen's neurosis was toned down a bit after Justice League, but then we get alternate universe Barry and now we get to deal with again.

Also, for a big budget movie, the special effects were not great. Average at best. They needed a few more passes, but the CG stuntman or shots of what were supposed to be real people looked real bad. That opening scene where The Flash is saving babies put me in a bad spot for this movie. That scene was too much. I'm glad we don't get really anything like that ever again. Incoming DC Hate alert. The X-Men movies displayed the powers of speedster better with Quicksilver.

I also think that they didn't do a good job initially explaining his time travel and how he was doing it. We get an exposition dump later, but I felt like if he had talked about it first, it would have made more sense. I can only imagine what the average viewer thought when he is running in place inside of a weird bubble. It's a weird visual choice.

In past reviews, I've stated how I like more personal stories that don't have world ending catastrophe. This movie started with that intention, but then it unravels to be something that is multi-verse ending and only one dude, in all the multi-verses can fix it. They explain it away by saying in THIS universe, these are the only heroes they had. It's just a tough pill to swallow. 

I will be honest, I don't like multi-verse stuff in general. It's why I didn't like that last Doctor Strange movie either. I feel it is a lazy way for creators to come up with different takes of characters with no consequences. It can be fun, but also, they would never make those changes in the main line universe. The Spider-Man multiverse movies are my ONLY exceptions.

With that being said, let's get to the positives. Michael Keaton as Batman! Time has given me perspective on the Batman movies and he is far and away, my favorite live action Batman. I wish he had been in the whole movie and not the back half, but I will take what I can get. He just has an it factor with the role that is hard to really pin down. He elevates every scene he is in. Just seeing him in the costume, being a complete bad ass was an absolute delight. I was smiling anytime he was on screen. He was the best kind of comfort food. Despite what the DC brain trust says, he needs to be in another movie.

We also didn't get enough of Sasha Calle as Supergirl. She was pretty cool and we only get her for the back third of the movie. That didn't really give her much to do acting wise. Maybe it's enough to convince DC to let her have a full movie at some point.

Despite my complaints about the CG, it was cool to see the scene with all the multi-verse Supermen. There were a lot of easter eggs, especially a truly deep cut that delighted me. This movie also had a couple of Bruce Waynes, the last one being a huge surprise. 

A quick side note to comic book movies. Not EVERY movie needs to be a two and a half hour epic. If you can't tell your story in two hours, you're doing it wrong. The pacing of this movie is just weird and could do with some edits.

I will say that there are some good comedic beats here, but the best one for me was when Barry Allen has lost his powers and he tries to run, THINKING he still has them. It showed how ridiculous his running style is when he's just a normal dude. I know it was played for laughs and it was successful, because while it makes sense the way he runs, it looks so silly. 

In summary, this movie is what the kids would call, "Mid". See it if you want, but I can't really put my name on a recommendation for it. It took years to get this movie and I think it gets crushed under the weight of expectations. You want to like it more than you do. 

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Yeah, yeah. I know, I know. I'm super late talking about this movie. We'll chalk it up more to life than anything else. Rather than go on with my excuses, I'll dive right in.

I don't even know where to start with this movie. It was fantastic. Just before I watched this, I was like, "When did that last one come out?" and when I did the math I was shocked that it had been five years! After watching this movie, I could see why it would have been five years in between movies. The animation here is next level. There are so many intricate details that I am sure animators had to work out the kinks for YEARS before this was released. A prime example is when Spider-punk shows up. His whole deal is he is animated in a punk rock style, re: the posters you would have seen. So he moves at a different frame rate than EVERY THING AROUND HIM. That's insane.

There is a whole chase sequence of multiple Spider-Men in the back third of this film that is a beauty to behold and you can see they put everything they had into it. The action in this movie is spell-binding. Beautifully choregraphed sequences and even little moments show up well here. Also, this soundtrack, like the first one, is on point. Both from an orchestrated perspective, but also with the songs themselves. This movie is a whole vibe.

Let me step back for a minute though. None of this great animation and technical wizardry wouldn't work if the story wasn't there. I'm here to say that it is. We start of getting more of alternate universe Gwen Stacy's perspective on things. So much so, I was like, "Is this a Spider-Gwen movie or a Miles Morales movie?". I'm half kidding. All of this is important because it will drive the rest of the movie and how her relationship with Miles is affected and grows. I also loved that we now have a more confident Miles Morales, who knows what he is now and is eager to show that off. There's also a good through line of consequences of your actions. I say this in regards to who the main villain is and I will leave it at that.

You have two teenagers trying to figure their lives out while being super heroes. They are struggling with their own sense of purpose. I know it's been weeks, but I don't want to give anything away here. It definitely got me in the feels because all I can think about is what will Aaron's journey be like as he grows up.

There's a lot of great voice actors that show up here and it really comes through in the performances. I don't think anyone was taking this lightly. For me, the top part of this cast is diverse and I love seeing that. I take particular joy in hearing a voice and going, "Is that Issa Rae?" and then confirming my suspicions when the credits roll. 

Finally, I loved all the different versions of Spider-Men in this movie and how their different personalities and usage of their spider-powers mesh with everyone. I won't give anything away here, but they are delightful. They really lean in the multi-verse aspect of this movie. It also ties into the ending, which caught me by surprise.

Basically, go see this movie and if you haven't seen the first one, go see that too!

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3

I saw the third volume of Guardians of the Galaxy and now that I have let about two weeks pass, I'll go ahead and share my thoughts. I will still try to keep this as spoiler free as possible. I'm only human.

Even if you don't read anything past this sentence, I will say this. I liked this movie. Didn't love it, didn't hate it. I feel like it was a good course correction after the last movie, which I did not like at all. There were so many things that movie did wrong that this movie gets right. Maybe after doing "The Suicide Squad" (hated it!) and "Peacemaker" (loved it!), he found the right mix of his humor and humanity. This movie was a satisfying conclusion to this iteration of the Guardians that we've been with for the last ten years. 

I don't think this is a huge spoiler, but if you've been on the edge of your seat to learn about Rocket's origin, this movie is for you. I won't go into details, but we delve into his past and you'll finally understand why he acts so gruff.

The biggest thing from this movie that I loved, is that FINALLY, this group of misfits feel like a family. In the first movie, they just met. In the second movie, we were told they are a family, but it never feels like it, since we see them split up immediately and then never spend time together. Here we get to watch them play off each other and it finally delivers on it's promise of the past few movies.

Now Gunn has a penchant for weird body horror stuff. It's in his DNA and literally pops up in every movie for TV show he does (or the ones I've seen). Or organic-y monsters. That shows up a little here as well and I just roll my eyes and move on with my day.

The other thing I really appreciated about this movie is that the stakes are small. They're not trying to save the universe this time, they are just trying to help a friend in need and they run up on the High Evolutionary, played with fiendish glee by Chukwudi Iwuji, which you nerds might recognize from Peacekeeper. Side note, I loved that as powerful as the High Evolutionary is, his fatal flaw is his obsession with Rocket over everything else. It forced him into many bad decisions and I love that it was his flaw, because there's no way he should be losing otherwise. 

I think a lot of the jokes hit home this time because the movie isn't a house of cards built up on them, like the last movie. They weren't telling a million jokes in between the action. Or the action scenes weren't full of a million site gags, thankfully. This movie had way more heart than the last two movies combined and that may be because it's the last one. If so, good for them. It mostly got around some of the Marvel-ness of the Marvel movies. I said some because you still end with a bunch of big actiony, set pieces. 

Finally, we actually spend more time adding depth to the characters that we were not getting before. Which I say, about time. 

There's a lot more I could say, (Characterization of Adam Warlock, a different Gamora, a more likeable Drax and Nebula, less annoying Mantis), but I'll leave it here. I'm trying to make my reviews shorter, so that's it. This one is actually good, so go check it out. 

The Inevitable Best and Worst List of 2022 - Part II

Let's carry on with Part II of my year in review. Now we get on to favorite writers, mini-series, events and favorite series. I have also started to read more graphic novels, so I now have a category for that as well.

Favorite Writer of 2022
Chip Zdarsky (Batman, Daredevil, Devil's Reign) - I've become such a fan of Chip over the past few years. I still maintain that he should be writing the Fantastic Four after the wonderful job he did on the Marvel Two In One series a couple of years ago, but I digress. You could argue that Batman and Daredevil are similar-ish enough in nature, that it's almost like he's writing the same book twice. That couldn't be further from the truth. He's taken both books in different directions, enough that it feels somewhat fresh, given there's not much gold to mine from these characters. I think the supporting cast for each book is what makes it. In Batman, Tim Drake is the Robin of choice and we get to see him in the role he hasn't been in for a while. He's had some downright bonkers action in Batman. Case in point, there's a whole bit on how Batman survives re-entry into Earth's atmosphere after falling from the watch tower. It shouldn't work, but it does! In Daredevil, Elektra and Daredevil have been working together for once as they are controlling the Hand. Sure, they are fighting bad guys in a similar, but different clan called, "The Fist". I'm here for it. Two gritty heroes, written well by a writer that has a lot of range. Seeing his name on a book is what sells me. 

Honorable Mention: Rainbow Rowell (She-Hulk), Skottie Young (Strange Academy)

Pleasant Surprise of 2022
Death of Superman - 30th Anniversary Special (DC) - I know I'm sometimes the cynical comic book fan, but this book hit a particular cord with me. See, I read the Death of Superman when it came out 30 years ago, vastly aging myself. I will spare you my sad tale of trying to chase it down back then. What I do remember is the Reign of Supermen that came after this and what a pivotal moment it was in comics at the time. What made this issue so special is that it had the creative teams of each of those four superman books from that exact moment in time. All names I recognized like Dan Jurgens, Tom Grummett, Roger Stern, Jerry Ordway, Louise Simonson. It instantly took me back to those stories and where I was when I was a kid, living in Germany. Buying them from the BX or trips to the American comic store that was just outside of Ramstein Air Force base. Reliving the Doomsday fight and the aftermath effected me more than I thought it would and that's the mark of a good anniversary issue.

Shocker of 2022
The A.X.E. Event from Marvel - After the abysmal Eternals movie, Marvel is doing their every couple years push of trying to jam the Eternals down our throats. Thus this book that pairs them up with the Avengers and X-Men. Never have I ever been more bored with a crossover. To be fair, I never finished. But the inclusion of the Eternals and the fact they made up the majority of the one shot to launch this event, I couldn't have been more non-plussed. Can someone please tell Marvel that no one cares? You've done everything you can to try and make them interesting and you've failed each time. Just stop.

Worst Mini-series of 2022
Batman/Spawn - This was a one shot special, but man. It's the 90's in the worst way. Todd McFarlane proves that after all this time in the industry, he doesn't know how to write a comic book. I feel like this serves no one. Batman is still popular, but the only people who know about Spawn are my age. I can't imagine younger people even caring about this character in this century. What a complete waste of Greg Capullo.

Honorable Mentions: Sabretooth (Marvel), X-Deaths of Wolverine, X-Lives of Wolverine

Favorite Mini-series of 2022
Wolverine Patch (Marvel) - This scratched an itch I didn't even know I had. This is classic Wolverine from the late 80's/early 90's. From the writer that wrote him then, so it had that feel, but also felt modern enough. Unapologetically violent, but not overboard. Wolverine had the devil may care attitude that we used to be accustomed to seeing. I can't say enough good things about this.

Honorable Mentions: New Fantastic Four (Marvel), X-Terminators (Marvel), New Masters (Image), Rocketeer: The Great Race (IDW)

Favorite New Series of 2022
X-Men: Red (Marvel) - This book follows Storm and her journey as the leader of the X-Men and group of mutants on the repopulated Mars. This book showcases what a badass Storm is and also how she pairs with Magneto. Thank goodness it's not in a romantic way. It's just having two Omega level X-Men dealing with threats to their planet and bring along some of the new characters that were introduced in the latest era of the X-Men. Also, Sunspot comes in and out and they are doing something with him, to make him interesting. I can't quite put my finger on it, but this book is good in a way I didn't think it would be. It's different and it gets points for that. Did I mention Storm is amazing? I will again.

Honorable Mentions: Immortal X-Men (Marvel), Captain America: Symbol of Truth (Marvel)

Favorite Graphic Novel of 2022
N/A - Unfortunately, I have not read any graphic novels this year. Anything I read was from the last year, so that technically cannot count. I have to be fair!

Honorable Mentions: N/A

Favorite Maxi-Series
Batman: One Bad Day (DC) - While typically a maxi-series implies a twelve issue run, I'm picking these series of one shots as my favorite maxi series of the year. It's my blog and I can do whatever I want! They had rotating creative teams each telling their own stories based on one of Batman's rogue gallery. They all have their own creative vision and takes on the villains having their worst day. At the end of the day, it's a character piece on a specific character, but they are all extremely well done.

Honorable Mentions: N/A

Worst Series of 2022
Black Panther Vol. 9 (Marvel) - I have piled on this book a lot already. I'm not going to stop. There may have been more objectively worse books than this, but this book has cut me to my soul. Everything about it feels out of place and wrong. It's the most dickish Captain America I've ever read. The most incompetent version of T'Challa I've ever seen and it's just not compelling. Nothing about it feels right and not having a consistent art team is also part of the problem. I'm just waiting for the new team to take over.

Honorable Mentions: N/A - I can't think of any others that made me dislike them.

Favorite Series of 2022
X-Men (Marvel) - And oldie has become new. I may have talked before about this interesting take on the X-Men the past few years. They were essentially in a gray area that they never inhabited as a collective before. While I have fallen off some of the books, I have stuck with the mainline X-Men book. The conceit here is they want to go back to being Super Heroes in the public eye and they built a team by popular vote (amongst themselves) to do that. They have set up in a tree house in Central park and have old school X-Men adventures. There are still forces mobilizing against them, but seeing these adventures with a set of characters that is defined, at least for 12 issues is a delight. Gerry Duggan has proven time and time again that he is a good comic book writer, but he has made this compelling. I don't love that they lost Pepe Larraz on this book and have some second tier art teams, but maybe that will change. What's especially interesting is the arc Cyclops has been on for the last fifteen years. I have to say, he's become one of my favorite X-Men and I don't know how to feel about that. They've proven time and time again why the X-Men follow him and that alone has been very interesting to watch. I would argue he is far more a better character when he was with Emma Frost, but I can live with him being around Jean Grey again. Definitely a book that always goes on the top of my pile.

Honorable Mentions:  She-Hulk (Marvel), Strange Academy (Marvel), Fantastic Four (Marvel)

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania

I know it's been a few weeks since I watched this. It should tell you a lot that I'm just now writing about it. I just didn't feel compelled to talk about it at all. This movie didn't move me in the way they were hoping for. Will I elaborate? You know I will.

Let me sum up my thoughts on this movie and the Ant-Man movies in general. Ant-Man was always the fun little side adventures that Marvel cooked up. No one asked for it, but we all believed we cared because we like Paul Rudd so much and we're just glad he's in the Marvel Universe. His previous two movies were fun heist movies and I legitimately liked Ant-Man & The Wasp. This movie, I didn't like at all. I didn't hate it, but I didn't fully enjoy it either. I was actually kind of bored with it and this movie kind of broke me.

This movie follows the Marvel Cinematic Universe playbook to a T. And that's the problem. This movie made me realize how tired I am of the Marvel Movie formula. I am tired of wise-cracking heroes. I'm tired of them being all jokey for the whole movie up until the climax when they have to get serious. I'm tired of them taking a team of people and splitting them up for asinine reasons, just so they can assemble at the end. It is hard to see team dynamics, when the team is hardly ever together. So then you tell us instead of show us.

Also, I feel like they keep trying to make fetch happen with Ant-Man. Admittedly, he shouldn't be carrying his own movie. He's not compelling enough. But they keep trying to put him at the center of all the important events and I'm tired of it. Let him be a side character in the Avengers movies or something and let that be it. We've seen enough of him to know who he is. Better yet, relegate him to a series on Disney+. That way you can tell us about his life in any way that you want.

For a movie that is so special effects heavy, they do not look great here. M.O.D.O.K. looks terrible. Every time he showed up, I'm immediately taken out of the movie. I don't care they changed his origin for this. I just care that he looks stupid. I know that is saying a lot because the comic book version is also stupid looking. Should tell you something, Marvel. All that glitters isn't gold.

Also, they say the "Quantum Realm" but the way the world is laid out, just say we're going to an alien planet and be done. I feel like they REALLY want this to be the Negative zone, but they didn't have the rights back when this movie was probably conceived.

Anyway, this movie is completely predictable. Jonathan Majors is fantastic and he is on a different level than the rest of the cast in this movie. Sure, he's the next big bad. I just hate that Ant-Man had to be used as the stepping stone to get there. Let's move on to Phase 5, Marvel. You had your fun experimenting with Phase 4. You unfortunately forgot to include us on that ride.

Watch this on Disney+ if you want. You lose nothing by not doing it. 

 

The Inevitable Best and Worst List of 2022 - Part I

Well, there is nothing like a timely end of year list that arrives a quarter into the following year. I gotta do better. So the world kind of opened back up in 2022. I read just as many books this year if not a few less. However, my time to read them was scattered and I read in waves. That's what having a kid does to you. As much as I read comics, there were so many damn comic book based movies and shows that occupied my time. This blog became more of a movie review site instead of comics. So in 2023 I will try to swing it back in that direction. There was so much that I read, it's going to be hard to remember what actually stood out. Guess I'll need to consult the ol' list of books I read. For those curious, the final count of issues I read this year was 551.

I don't think my reading preferences changed that much. I still read a ton of Marvel. DC has started to fallen by the wayside. Wasn't as much Image as I usually do. Will this swing the other way in the new year? No idea. I will say that my patience has begun to wane with all the X-Books. I initially loved this new direction, but I've grown tired of most of their books. It feels like it is treading water.

So let's get into it. What did my old man brain come up with? Without further ado, here is part I of my review of 2022.


Dearly Departed (The Comics I dropped this year)
Before I get into the rest of my list, a moment of silence for the number of comics that I dropped this year after giving a good go at it:

• Green Lantern - DC
• I Am Batman - DC
• Detective Comics - DC
• Amazing Spider-Man - Marvel
• Defenders Beyond - Marvel
• Marauders - Marvel
• Wolverine - Marvel
• X-Force - Marvel

Favorite Comic Book Movie of 2022 

Wakanda Forever (Marvel) - I already said a lot about this movie, so I won't go into detail. This movie had an uphill battle and I think it succeeded. This was as good as it could have possibly gotten. Thoroughly enjoyed it.

Honorable Mentions: The Batman

Worst Comic Book Movie of 2022
Morbius (Marvel)- I knew I shouldn't have, but I had to see for myself just how bad this movie was. Let's say I lost valuable hours of my day to this movie. I also talked about this at length. It is such a dumb movie. There were quite a few bad movies this year, but this one won hands down.

Honorable Mention: Black Adam (DC)

Favorite Comic Book TV Show of 2022
Peacekeeper (DC) - Marvel went hard with the quantity of shows this year. While I loved Ms. Marvel and She-Hulk from Marvel, pound for pound, Peacekeeper wins this award. Look, I'm not going to link to all my old posts for everything I say here. Just kidding, here you go. Just know this, the show was a lot of fun and I think John Cena found the perfect role and cast surrounding him.

Honorable Mentions: She-Hulk (Marvel), Ms. Marvel (Marvel)

Worst Comic Book TV show of 2022
Harley Quinn - Season 3 (DC) - There were a lot of comic book based shows and there are even more I didn't watch. But when I Think about the most disappointing, this show popped to the top of the list. For all the complaining I did about Moon Knight, it didn't make me feel the way this show made me feel. I still need to do a post, but between season 2 and season 3, the writers got up their own asses or something. American animation has leaned hard into this adult themed content for the sake of doing it. This show toed the line before, but now everything about this season was overkill. They gave me less of what I want (Kite Man, King Shark, Dr. Pyscho, Sy Borgman, Commissioner Gordon) and increased more Batgirl, Joker and Clayface. The mix was just off. Nothing felt as funny as the previous two seasons. Don't get me started on the Valentine's Day special they released a few weeks ago. I can't even and Harley is becoming borderline unlikeable. 

Honorable Mention: N/A.

The “Oh you still come out and I buy you” of 2022
Lazarus Risen (Image) - This was a book that I loved immensely when it came out. It was by one of my favorite writers at the time, Greg Rucka. There have been ridiculously long delays between issues in this book. It went from monthly, to bi-monthly, to quarterly to whenever. This is the problem with books from Image. There's no real editorial oversight, so there is no one to keep these things on a schedule. I have completely lost the thread on this book and I'm unwilling to go back and re-read anything. With these kind of delays, you need to have a detailed, "Previously in...".


Favorite New Artist of 2022
Carmen Carnero - She came in like a force of nature on Captain America. It's the best art I've seen on his book in a while. Marvel's art lately has been feeling very bland lately, so I'm glad to have her around. Her art is so fantastic. It's like a Steve Epting look, but I feel it is less rigid at times. My only worry is that she is so good that she will get poached by Mark Millar as well and then we won't see her in books I actually read. Enjoy it while you can. I can't wait to see her blow up more and get on some bigger projects. She's worthy of it.

Honorable Mentions: Dike Ruan (Shang-Chi) 

Worst Artist of 2022
N/A - Unfortunately like last year, I read so much, I didn't mark down the bad art I saw. I know it's out there, I just can't remember any of it, so this will be unfilled for now. Next year I will mark it down so it is easier to remember. (Editor's note: You made this promise last year and you didn't stick to it. Don't make promises you can't keep)

Honorable Mentions: N/A

Favorite Artist of 2022
Dan Mora - Detective Comics (DC), Once & Future King (Boom Studios), World's Finest (DC), Mighty Morphin Power Rangers/Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II (Boom Studios) - He wins for the second year in a row for me. Look at his body of work in ONE CALENDAR YEAR. This guy is not human. No one in the industry puts out art like this, but here he is doing it. And it is all consistently good. I've become such a huge fan of his, that I get delighted when I see him on a title. He is another artist that can sell a book for me. 

Honorable Mentions: Chris Samnee - Firepower (Image), Pepe Larraz -X-Men (Marvel)

Favorite New Writer of 2022
Tochi Onyebuchi - Captain America: Symbol of Truth (Marvel) - I am so glad to see many new black writers popping up in Marvel (and DC. Hell ALL the companies). I know I have complained about novelists coming into comics, but it seems that lately the ones that do genuinely love comics. I don't have to worry about their stories, it's just how do they adjust to the medium? Do they overwrite too much? Do they at least come with fresh ideas? I think Tochi has come up on the latter side of this. His first 10ish issues of Captain America (the Sam Wilson one) has been great. The twist of African-Americans immigrating to Wakanda and being turned away due to Sam's actions is heavy stuff. I don't think I've seen that angle before and it's that kind of fresh thinking is why he's my favorite new writer of the year. Can't wait to see what else he brings. 

Honorable Mentions: N/A

Worst Writer of 2022
John Ridley (Black Panther, I Am Batman) - I don't take pride in putting this brother here, but you've heard me rant about the current run of Black Panther. I don't think I've ever been so pissed off at the way a comic has been written in a long time. Go read that older post if you want more. You've read enough already!

Honorable Mentions: N/A. (I can't remember anyone else that should be on this list)

Black Adam

And then there was Black Adam. Let's end the comic book movie season with THIS movie. Look, you'll probably hear how the Rock produced, pushed for this film, blah blah blah. It's a passion project, blah blah blah. Sometimes that passion blinds people to what the end product is. This movie is not good. It's a movie, sure. I wouldn't say it's good. 

At this point, you know what you get with the Rock and his acting. Somehow he seems to have less of the charisma here. He wants to be a guy that is so bad ass, he doesn't talk much, but he punches stuff a lot. And flies everywhere. And lift things. You know what, I see why the Rock wanted this movie. He wanted to look cool.

Indulge me for a few minutes while I make a wrestling analogy to describe what I was thinking as I watched this movie. It's very apropos here. Black Adam is this new "hero" on the scene and he wants to get over with the crowd. So he is shown handling people with ease and is built up as this big hero. He destroys stuff and he has a "I'm cooler than you demeanor." The crowd turns on him because he is being shoved down our throats and is not what we want. So then they try to give him tougher competition where we are supposed to cheer for him. We don't. Then they do a face turn later and we accept it with mild applause. Did I miss the mark? 

This movie can't decide if Black Adam is untouchable or if guys like freaking Hawkman can go toe to toe with him. They never fully define his powers because then they would have to follow rules and who wants to do that? 

Before I start tearing this movie down, let me go with what I actually liked. To it's credit, this movie just looks different. That's because it takes place in North Africa. I could look up the specifics, but why bother. It's in a made up location, so just go with me here. I can see that an effort was made to get a cast made up of people from the region, in the way that Marvel's Moon Knight was. With the Rock's ethnically ambiguous look, he can slide in here without it being a huge problem. So we don't see those sprawling American cities like we normally see in these movies. We are in a different country and we stay here for the whole movie. The setting of this movie makes it refreshing. 

 

For whatever reason, I really liked the choice of Pierce Brosnan as Doctor Fate. He brought a class and elegance to this movie that I didn't think he could. Maybe it's the accent, but it felt like he was acting rings around everyone else. He also just had a cool look.

That's the nicest things I can say. Now let's get into the rest. This movie tried to launch the JSA and I think it fails. It fails because as far as team dynamics go, they pick the least interesting group of characters to work together that I've ever seen. You have a Hawkman. Dr. Fate. Whirling wind girl and not-Antman. The final two are apparently new to this team, so you have a bunch of rookies joining a fight that could have world ending consequences. Awesome. They barely know their own powers and so do we. We're not given much about them and they are here to be special effect showpieces at best. It's literally the worst team you could have sent after the most "powerful" person in the world.

They also really shoehorn Amanda Waller into this movie, to try and make this fit with the Suicide Squad and everything they have built so far. It just feels weird. If the JSA are heroes, why are they working with Amanda Waller, who it feels like everyone knows is evil, but just kinda deals with her anyway? It's flimsy.

Finally, the fight scenes and everything is just boring. There's nothing that we haven't seen before. Also, like all other movies DC does, they have to use a lot of cutesy slo-mo shots, that is beyond annoying at this point. You're trying to do Superman things without having Superman. Can we just get over this idea that Superman isn't cool? It's not his job, but this movie tries to build up Black Adam as the "cool" Superman and no one asked for that.

This movie is ultimately just unsatisfying. The Rock tried to use it as a springboard for new things, but it now sounds like those legs have been cut out from under him with the new regime coming in. Jamming in a Superman cameo at the end to get our hopes up, to ultimately lead no where is also extremely disappointing. 

We can say what we want about Marvel movies being formulaic, but at least they have a formula. DC has been fumbling around for years and not choosing a tone that is consistent in all their movies. At first I applauded that, but hopefully the new regime can get these movies feeling more consistent with each other.

Hopefully everyone can say they got this out of their system and we can move on.