Skip to main content

Morbius

This image is as dumb as the movie itself

I'm not going to bury the lead here. This movie is extraordinarily stupid. It should not exist. For those not in the know, Sony has the rights to a number of Spider-Man characters, but share actual Spider-Man with Disney right now. So in an effort to keep the rights, they pump out Spider-Man adjacent nonsense like the Venom movies or THIS movie right here. A movie absolutely no one asked for. Morbius is a C list Spider-Man villain on his BEST day. A sign that Sony should have moved on. Yet, here we are. I'm sure the egotistical Jared Leto thought he could somehow elevate this property. He is sorely mistaken. 

Part of my main problem with this movie is they take a stupid comic book concept and try to play it straight like it is believable. A guy is like, "Imma go get bit by a bunch of vampire bats cause science blah blah something something" and they just roll with it. Then he gets powers but is like a vampire, but not. The bats he gets bit by don't demonstrate any of these traits, but he damn sure gets super powers that get made up on the fly.

The other cardinal sin (of many), is this movie is completely predictable. You can see the villain coming from a mile away. These movies (Marvel is not exempt here) always want to make the bad guy a different side of the same coin. So instead of having a vampire fight a monster or the mafia or ANYTHING, he fights a mirror version of himself. So exciting. Also, this is one of those movies where all the problems would have been fixed by simply talking. For like ten minutes.

The most egregious offense to me, (SPOILER!)was including Adrian Toomes in a cameo appearance and as one of the stingers. How DARE you waste Michael Keaton like this. He's great in the real Spider-Man movies, but he is brought in here like he is going to save this sorry film. I was screaming, "No! NO!" when he showed up.

The special effects are about what you expect. Full disclosure, I watched this a few weeks ago and all the details are hazy other than, this is a dumb film. Should I have watched it? No. But everyone who knows me, knows I am somehow obligated to see all Marvel films, so here we are. I clearly have a problem. But not as big a problem as this movie. Zing.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Zack Snyder's Justice League

The moment has come that some had clamored for. The moment I never wanted to see happen. Let me start by saying this. I don't like that this exists because it validates all the toxic fan boys, angry over how Justice League turned out, who cried out for the Snyder's original vision of his movie. I hate that public pressure made this happen. If only people like this would use their power for good. How about more representation? How about better story telling? No, give me that thing that I don't have because I'm going to bully you for it. I love comics, but the community surrounding them can be very toxic and I hate that. I feel like this movie is the manifestation of that. Clearly I have a lot of feelings before even coming into this movie. I will try to be as objective as possible, but remember, these are my opinions and I will feel what I feel. To prep me, I took the crazy step of re-watching the theatrical release of this movie first, so I can have something to compare...
7 comments
Read more

The Inevitable Best and Worst List of 2017

Well, I completely failed my resolution from last year's best of post. I said I would get this up sooner, but instead it took me longer. Life goals people. You need to have them.  Anyways, 2017 is gone and in the books. DC continued it’s resurgence and Marvel has begun to flounder. My books still skew towards the Marvel side, but that is supplemented with DC and Independent books, so I am still getting my variety. The volume of books I buy have certainly gone up since Marvel and DC have become obsessed with the double shipping of most of their titles. On the DC side, it isn’t as bad since most of their books are $2.99. Marvel on the other hand wants to stick to their $3.99 cover price and I can’t remember the last time they were below that number as an average. I'll have a full rant about how I really feel about double shipping later in the year.  Without further ado, here is my review of 2017. Dearly Departed (The Comics I dropped this year) Before I get into...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Batman

When I heard this movie was announced a few years ago, I rolled my eyes pretty hard. Here we are with yet ANOTHER Batman movie. We were starting to get diminishing returns with this franchise. I get that they want to keep trying to make money, but maybe we need to let Batman take a rest. Then I watched this movie and I take it all back. I only saw this a week ago, so I'm still in hot take mode, but this is EASILY one of the best Batman movies I have ever seen. Right now, I have Dark Knight first, this movie second and the 1989 Batman movie coming in at number 3. There are just so many things this movie does right. It is almost a master class in how you juggle multiple villains. We also get to see Batman be, *GASP* a detective and try to solve a crime. Not in the ham fisted ways that we've seen in the past either.  In no particular order, let me talk about what I loved about this movie. First of all, we don't have to get an origin story about Bruce Wayne/Batman. It's a s...
Post a Comment
Read more