Secret Invasion

He looks as bored as I was watching this show

I finished this about a week ago and I Just haven't gotten around to doing it, so here we are. I thought those days in between would help me cool off, but as I started writing, all that vitriol came back and then some. You know all that hate I typically save for DC movies. Buckle up, because that energy is being redirected to this show. Normally I am even keeled when it comes to my beloved Marvel. This was a show that I tried to force myself to like and I just. COULD. NOT. DO.IT. Beware, I'm going to have to do some spoilers here, there's no avoiding it this time.

I like spy dramas, but I've never been so bored by a spy story in all my life. Whatever magic spell Marvel used to have on me did not work this time. This show is beyond underwhelming, I was invested in literally no one and we get to see a lot of great actors get wasted. 

Now that I've let that out, let me get into more specifics about what I didn't like in this show. First of all, this is a show we should have gotten like five years ago, at the height of Marvel's powers and when we were clamoring for more Nick Fury. Now, they trotted this show out to fill a hole in the schedule. Marvel, we're okay if we get 0-1 shows a year at this point. We've gone past the point of oversaturation.

This show made me question if I was too hard on past shows like Loki or Moon Knight. Both of which I nitpicked, but I would gladly take either of those a second time over having watched this.

When Skrulls showed up in Captain Marvel, I was excited. You all know your boy is a fan of the Fantastic Four, so this felt like a precursor to them showing up. They were excellently used in that movie. Then we never really see them again until this show. A show that while expensive, seemed to follow TV show budget rules. This is a show about shape shifting Skrulls infiltrating the world's governments and there was probably 20 minutes of actual Skrull footage out of about 3 and a half hours of show. 

The whole, "we have to stay in human form so you can get used to it" conceit was such bullshit. To me that screams, "Look, the Skrull make up is super expensive, so let's just save it for brief moments and we'll get the most out of it."

Our guy Talos, from Captain Marvel movie spent the majority of his time as a Skrull in that film. So much so, I didn't know what the actual actor looked like. Here, he's just straight up playing himself. The only time we see him in his true form is when he is killed. Pretty unceremoniously. Speaking of unceremonious deaths, they straight up fridged Maria Hill. I was happy to see her back, but it doesn't matter because she doesn't make it out of the first episode. A death that was meaningless. Someone better than me can go into depth of how they did her dirty.

I'm leading up to Nick Fury, but before I get there, let's talk about the main bad guy, Gravik. I swear every third Marvel property has a bad guy who's sole motivation is, "You lied to me or treated me badly, now the whole world must pay." It was straight up mustache twirling villainy in this show. A more sophisticated story about Skrull spies turning the world against itself is instead reduced to standard comic book fare. Furthermore, we finally get a version of the Super Skrull and it is completely wasted. 

Almost to Nick Fury. I want to touch on Emila Clarke being pretty wasted in this show as well. She's Talos's daughter and they are estranged when we start. There was a lot of family drama to unpack here, but we don't spend a lot of time because I guess it doesn't serve the story. It's also some flimsy ass motivations as well. Her story doesn't come to a satisfying conclusion.

Alright, Nick Fury. The main character of the show. They spend so much time showing Nick being a step behind on everything. They talk about how great he used to be and we know it cause we've seen it. You spend five of the six episodes waiting for him to get back to peak Fury and get his iconic look. When you finally get it, you're not excited. You're more like, "It's about damn time!" only for the show to end. I don't know what it was, but Samuel L. Jackson's portrayal felt off this time. He was a lot more jokey than he ever was. It didn't feel right. Also, we have to admit that he's literally in old man, so you can't hide his old man walk anymore.

This whole show spends it's time showing how sneaky the Skrulls are, but it's never established how any of our heroes could even spot one if they tried. As if Fury didn't have some Skrull locator cooked up at some point. So there is fake tension on who's a Skrull versus who isn't. Furthermore, with a literal Super Skrull roaming around, you're telling me not ONE of those planet's heroes could show up to help out. This whole "Fury wants to do it alone" is also nonsense. You can't afford the movie actors showing up in this show is what it is. Sorry Marvel, you can't build how this is a connected universe and then conveniently exclude people when there's a world threatening event. Pick a lane. Make this story about the Skrulls JUST going after Fury then.

This show had the most whole unsatisfying ending of a show I can ever remember. Keep in mind people were upset about She-Hulk's meta ending. We get essentially a big battle between two super skrulls and I was so thoroughly unimpressed and downright bored. When it was over, I was like, "Wait, THAT was the big ending fight?" Nick Fury wins the day through a proxy, who he barely collaborated with. Good riddance.

The final thing that infuriated me about this show. In episode two, we get one of the single best conversations in MCU history (in my opinion) between James Rhodes and Nick Fury. I say one of the best because it's two black men in the mist of all this super hero stuff being real with each other in the way two black people would be. All of that is completely undercut, when you find out Rhodey has been a Skrull this whole show and potentially even as far back as the Captain America: Civil War. They leave his when that switch would have happened open to interpretation. They only say it's been for a long time.

This plot point is what I hated about the comics version of Secret Invasion. You find out that characters you invested in for years are not really who you liked after all. In the comics, they at least kept that contained to C List characters. Rhodes is an A-Tier character by default right now. This shit feels like Spider-Man's clone war back in the mid 90's that caused me to stop by Spiderman Comics for at least a decade, out of spite. 

Marvel needs to right their ship and pronto. They built up all this good will in us with their execution up to Avengers: End Game. Since then, they've been coasting on that and now that's run out. I WANTED to be excited about "The Marvels" or "Loki" season 2, but at this point, I watch Marvel stuff out of my own internal obligation versus being excited. Trust me, you can pass on this one and it pains me to say it. Find better uses for your time. Go take up art. Go watch literally any move in the world. Your time would be better spent.