Morbius

This image is as dumb as the movie itself

I'm not going to bury the lead here. This movie is extraordinarily stupid. It should not exist. For those not in the know, Sony has the rights to a number of Spider-Man characters, but share actual Spider-Man with Disney right now. So in an effort to keep the rights, they pump out Spider-Man adjacent nonsense like the Venom movies or THIS movie right here. A movie absolutely no one asked for. Morbius is a C list Spider-Man villain on his BEST day. A sign that Sony should have moved on. Yet, here we are. I'm sure the egotistical Jared Leto thought he could somehow elevate this property. He is sorely mistaken. 

Part of my main problem with this movie is they take a stupid comic book concept and try to play it straight like it is believable. A guy is like, "Imma go get bit by a bunch of vampire bats cause science blah blah something something" and they just roll with it. Then he gets powers but is like a vampire, but not. The bats he gets bit by don't demonstrate any of these traits, but he damn sure gets super powers that get made up on the fly.

The other cardinal sin (of many), is this movie is completely predictable. You can see the villain coming from a mile away. These movies (Marvel is not exempt here) always want to make the bad guy a different side of the same coin. So instead of having a vampire fight a monster or the mafia or ANYTHING, he fights a mirror version of himself. So exciting. Also, this is one of those movies where all the problems would have been fixed by simply talking. For like ten minutes.

The most egregious offense to me, (SPOILER!)was including Adrian Toomes in a cameo appearance and as one of the stingers. How DARE you waste Michael Keaton like this. He's great in the real Spider-Man movies, but he is brought in here like he is going to save this sorry film. I was screaming, "No! NO!" when he showed up.

The special effects are about what you expect. Full disclosure, I watched this a few weeks ago and all the details are hazy other than, this is a dumb film. Should I have watched it? No. But everyone who knows me, knows I am somehow obligated to see all Marvel films, so here we are. I clearly have a problem. But not as big a problem as this movie. Zing.

Guardians of the Galaxy: Holiday Special

Hi there. It's that friend you have that is in to comics. I know this blog should talk more comic stuff, but there's SO MANY SHOWS based on comics, my focus has shifted a little. So the topic of this post is that Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday special that popped up on Disney+ a week ago. What I am going to say is independent of this review, but I gotta say it. I don't love the exponential increase in Marvel content Disney has been pushing out. This is going to accelerate people's super hero burnout. We have long ago reached a oversaturation point. Have they been good? Mostly, yeah, but they have not paced themselves. By the time they get to the bottom of the vast list of characters, no one is going to care anymore.

Sorry. This special. James Gunn has been hit or miss for me. I loved Guardians of the Galaxy and Peacemaker. I hated Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.2 and The Suicide Squad. What did I think of this? I think it falls in the middle. It was fun and I liked it a little bit, but I definitely didn't love it. 

There are some good music numbers here and sorry if this is a spoiler, but we get Kevin Bacon, a fun payoff to a joke way back in the first movie. 

My issue with this special is it feels like they didn't have the actors' schedules lined up, so it was mostly a "Who's available and let's push a thing out." kind of thing. Unfortunately for me, that meant spending time with two of my least favorite members of the team, Mantis and Drax. Peter Quill, Nebula, Rocket and Groot make what feels like cameo appearances in something that should have had more of them. 

Also, Drax and Mantis feel like an odd pairing. They did what they could, but I found myself trying to make myself like this more than I actually did. That told me how I really felt. I think they could have gone with a fun, "Previously on Guardians of the Galaxy" to get us up to speed at the beginning because it has been a long time since we've seen this group on their own. I know they appeared in Thor: Love and Thunder, but here they are on Nowhere, set up as leaders, etc. and I don't remember ANY of that happening before. They don't mention any adventures with Thor either, so where in the timeline does this even sit?

I mean, I really don't have much else to say about this, other than the song about Christmas by this band, 'The Old 97's' that plays over the credits. I have high hopes that they will be on track for the third movie, then they lose James Gunn to DC for the foreseeable future. A loss for Marvel, because he fits their aesthetic to a T and now he is going to bring that humor to DC, where it is sorely needed. It's Christmas time, so get your Christmas fix.