Venom

I saw this movie weeks ago and yet I haven't even written down my thoughts on it. I can assure you that I blocked out most of this movie in my mind, so this review will be short. So congrats reader, you won't have to deal with me rambling on and on.

So, Venom. Where do I even begin with this movie? I went in expecting it to be bad. It met those expectations and exceeded them. Oh wait, that makes it sound good. What I mean to say is, it was worse than I thought.

This movie is bad, in case I wasn't clear. I didn't want this movie to exist and despite the easter eggs they leave, I do not want a sequel to this. It felt like a late 90's to early 00's bad action movie. With the budget of a modern movie.

It tries to toe the line between serious drama, horror, action and low brow comedy and it really fails at all of them. In this movie, it is hard to root for Eddie Brock (Tom Hardy). You are told he is a great reporter, but in what you see, he is not. Then we watch his life fall part, mind you, by his own hands. All because he follows the trope of "I'm always right cause I trust my GUT". You don't really take any pleasure in watching all the dominoes fall in the wrong way for this guy.  Tom Hardy tries his best with the material he is given, but there was no helping this. The dialogue is bad.

In this day and age, the special effects are okay. Not great, but not completely terrible. Venom looks like Venom, but given how this story is in the movie, there is no logical sense as to why he would be Spider-Man like. They do avoid having him web-swinging and things like that, but they try to shoe horn the Venom you know into this movie.

Finally, you have your mustache twirling villain, but you also get a couple of other sub villains (MORE evil symbiote), so I guess Venom is your hero by default? His motivations are faulty at best anyway.

I should also mention that the end credits song is performed by Eminem. Listen to about a minute of that and you get all you need to know about this movie and should affirm your reason to not watch this.

Avoid this movie at all costs and do something better with your life!