Betty and Veronica

It's all downhill once you open the book

Normally, I'm not moved to the point where I would write a post about how bad a comic book is. Then the first issue of the long awaited Adam Hughes written/penned Betty and Veronica series came out a few weeks ago and I just had to say something. This is what drew me out of my hidey-hole.

In this blog, I've stated on the record how I truly love Archie comics. So the fact that I'm writing something negative about this issue shows you how egregious it really is.

First of all, the new modern takes on the characters have been nothing short of fantastic. Gone is the fifties feeling of the Archie comic books. They now truly reflect current times. They have been smartly written and genuinely funny.

This book is neither of those. This book is not written well at all. I am always weary of artists who also fancy themselves as writers. That usually comes with disastrous results. There are many examples, but I'll start with Brian Hitch, Tony Daniel, Carlos Pacheco and even Jim Lee. You can now add Adam Hughes to that list.

Right off the bat, this first issue is ridiculously exposition heavy. There is such a thing as over writing on a comic book. Then there is the dialogue. Never has there been such a glaring example of old man writing teenage dialogue than the first few pages of this book and the rest of the issue. Archie and Jughead argue about . Then there are moments when the characters say "WTF". You may be thinking, "Well that's not so bad. What's your problem?". I should mention that it is spelled out as "Double-yoo tee eff". Who DOES that!?

Speaking of exposition heavy, the story is narrated by Jughead's dog, Hot Dog. This is such a weird stylistic choice as well. Specifically because he speaks as if he ate a thesaurus. Even MORE annoying is that they make that very joke before the issue's end.

Finally, none of the characterizations ring true. There is a discussion between Archie and Jughead that feels weird. Betty is doing yardwork for her "Mee-maw". Something I've NEVER heard Betty said in all the years of reading Archie comics. I'm no expert, but even I know that is not normal. Veronica is even more icy than she usually is. What really strikes me as odd is how different this comic is from all the other relaunches. It's like the editors just turned a blind eye and let this thing fall off the rails.

For their sake, I hope they either cancel this book or get a new creative team. I understand you want to bring in Adam Hughes to spike sales, but if this issue is indicative of what to expect, I'm ejecting  right now.

Suicide Squad!

I know this is late, but let's get started. This is starting to feel like a rote exercise for me. DC movie comes out. I go in hoping for the best and end up getting disappointed. With each succession, I lower my expectations to try and make these movies palatable. Then they still go under the bar.

Let's just get through this. Suicide Squad is a bad movie. I see what DC is going for here, but now was not the time. 

With Marvel, they were eight years and nine movies into their catalog before they introduce the off-beat and unexpected Guardians of the Galaxy. They had to build a universe before they could start digging into those C-level characters.

DC was trying to do that with Suicide Squad, but they had not put in the legwork yet to get here. It's too soon to trot out your C-level characters. I say this, not including Harley in that description.

So where do I even start with this movie? Let's just start with what I actually liked about this movie and then we'll go from there.

I thought Margot Robbie was a great Harley Quinn. I figured she would do a good job, but she did not disappoint. Will Smith was good as Deadshot. I liked Viola Davis as Amanda Waller. That is perfect casting in my opinion. There were some good jokes and some cool action scenes. I want you to take note of how short my list is for the things I liked.

This movie is all over the place. It doesn't know what it wants to be. It wants to be an action movie with a bunch of lovable rouges. Did we forget that this is a story about murderers? To try and flip the switch to make them heroes is more than forced. This movie should have gone darker because it doesn't  really deliver on the premise. These guys do what they're told for self preservation. Not because they want to right their wrongs. El Diablo's arc I can appreciate. I think he's the only one you could say is redeemable. Deadshot's hallmark like story is forced down our throats. While sweet in it's own way, I don't think that should be the focus of the movie.

Over half of this team is filler and not memorable. Killer Croc? Has maybe ten lines the whole movie. He's here to check a box. Katana, she shows up halfway and she doesn't really add much. Captain Boomerang? He yo-yos between lovable goofball and just too stupid for his own good. Rick Flag? He's as cookie cutter a soldier as you can get, without any of the charisma.

Let me spend a moment talking about Enchantress. They do some cool creepy stuff with her at first, but she devolves into generic super villain with a thin premise for taking over the world. Towards the end, as Carla Delevinge is hamming it up, it was too much for me to take. She had an exaggerated walk and head movements as the Enchantress that really irked me. The last fight scene with her I didn't like because at the end of the day, why is an all powerful sorceress going hand to hand with a group of people that have guns and bats? There's NO reason she would lose that fight!

I also don't like that the Suicide Squad's first mission is one to stop the end of the world. I am a big proponent of using at least a montage to show the time these guys spent together as a team. This way I can buy the friendship that they all share by the end of the movie. Here, it happens in the span of a day and it feels completely forced. Why should we buy the fact that they won't stab each other in the back at their first chance?

Then there is Jared Leto's Joker. With the first couple of screenshots, I was super worried. Then I thought, "I was worried about Heath Ledger's Joker and he was arguably the best one ever". Nope, Leto did not move the needle at all. The Juggalo appearance with his weird Joker voice was too much for me to overcome. Also, his neediness for the love of Harley doesn't exactly ring true.

If this movie had been rated R and they really cut loose, like villains should, this could have been a different movie. Instead it's a paint by numbers super hero story and we have enough of those already. I hate that this will make me look like DC hater, but they need to get it together with their motion pictures.

At least I have the TV shows to fall back on.